{"product_id":"i-shaved-my-balls-for-this-unisex-t-shirt","title":"I Shaved My Balls For This? - Unisex T-shirt","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"369\"\u003eYou prepared.\u003cbr data-start=\"322\" data-end=\"325\"\u003eYou committed.\u003cbr data-start=\"339\" data-end=\"342\"\u003eAnd THIS is what you got?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"371\" data-end=\"574\"\u003eOur \u003cstrong data-start=\"375\" data-end=\"412\"\u003e“I Bleached My Butthole For This”\u003c\/strong\u003e design is unapologetic, jaw-dropping, and guaranteed to stop conversations mid-sip. It’s crude humor done right — bold type, zero filter, and maximum confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"576\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eAt \u003cstrong data-start=\"579\" data-end=\"597\"\u003eSwanky Unicorn\u003c\/strong\u003e, we believe in fearless self-expression. This tee is for the ones who don’t blush… they escalate. The ones who understand that sometimes the punchline hits harder when you don’t see it coming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eIt’s not subtle.\u003cbr data-start=\"808\" data-end=\"811\"\u003eIt’s not polite.\u003cbr data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"830\"\u003eIt’s absolutely unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"865\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"867\" data-end=\"892\"\u003e🔥 Why You’ll Love It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"925\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"925\"\u003eShock-humor statement design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"926\" data-end=\"960\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"928\" data-end=\"960\"\u003eBold, high-contrast typography\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"993\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"963\" data-end=\"993\"\u003eInstant conversation starter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"994\" data-end=\"1067\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"996\" data-end=\"1067\"\u003ePerfect for adult parties, festivals, lifestyle events, or nights out\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1068\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1070\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003eDesigned for confident personalities who own the room\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1132\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003e🦄 The Swanky Unicorn Energy\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eWe design for adults who live loud, laugh harder, and don’t take themselves too seriously. This shirt leans into outrageous humor with a wink — because sometimes the best stories start with, “You won’t believe what their shirt said…”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1415\"\u003eWear it when:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1416\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1416\" data-end=\"1436\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1418\" data-end=\"1436\"\u003eThe vibe is wild\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1437\" data-end=\"1463\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1439\" data-end=\"1463\"\u003eThe drinks are flowing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1466\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003eThe crowd can handle it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1494\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003eAnd you’re feeling just a little unhinged (in the fun way)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% combed cotton for a smooth, durable feel\u003cbr\u003e- Medium-weight fabric (180 g\/m²) — breathable with structure\u003cbr\u003e- Regular fit with side seams for reliable shape\u003cbr\u003e- Shoulder-to-shoulder tape and double-needle hems for added durability\u003cbr\u003e- Preshrunk to minimize post-wash changes\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e25.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White\/Red","offer_id":43017900163133,"sku":"27545805543674344516","price":28.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White\/Red","offer_id":43017900195901,"sku":"15740152764879461994","price":28.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White\/Red","offer_id":43017900228669,"sku":"30398110319172506390","price":28.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White\/Red","offer_id":43017900261437,"sku":"19825043746447637234","price":28.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White\/Red","offer_id":43017900294205,"sku":"23541233719272153351","price":28.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White\/Red","offer_id":43017900326973,"sku":"66349939682378493539","price":28.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0580\/3615\/8525\/files\/15350782212171970523_2048.jpg?v=1772332545","url":"https:\/\/swankyunicorn.com\/products\/i-shaved-my-balls-for-this-unisex-t-shirt","provider":"Swanky Unicorn","version":"1.0","type":"link"}